Hauru, who has Taiwanese parents, was born and brought up in Tokyo. She lived 4 years in Kaohsiung, Taiwan as a student and 5 years working in New York, and now is back living in Tokyo. She says both in Taiwan and in the States, it took a while to be able to enjoy it.

Profile

Name: Hauru  Age: 35

Hauru graduated from highschool in Tokyo then attended National University of Kaohsiung in Taiwan. She moved back to Tokyo after graduating and had a few jobs, then moved to New York for her husband’s work. After spending 5 years there, they moved back to Tokyo last year.

Decision to go to University in Taiwan

—————When did you decide to go to the university in Taiwan?

Hauru: It was my third year of high school. The school I went to had International study courses which I tool. So there were many who intended to study abroad. I initially wanted to go to English speaking countries, but the tuition was expensive.

Also considering that I could not speak Chinese at all back then, I thought why not studying the language of my roots before English. Taiwan appeared to be a good option.

Then, I received an information letter at my house that said National University of Kaohsiung had been newly established and why don’t you take an exam. I knew that overseas Chinese association sometimes recruits overseas Chinese students. I was amazed by how timely it was and thought why not give it a shot.

Both of my parents had extended families in Kaohsiung, so I had visited them several times. 

—————What was the reason your parents relocated to Japan?

Hauru: My father said he wanted to run his business in Japan. My mother studied in a two-year college in Japan. They met at work in Taiwan, then they moved to Japan when they got married. He owned his business which involved souvenirs. My mother’s father studied at Keio University, so apparently, he has influenced her about Japan.

—————What was the exam to enter the university?

Hauru: I needed to submit my degree from my high school and an essay either in English or in Chinese. After the submission, first I was on a waiting list, but eventually admitted.

Overseas Chinese from all over world

—————How many overseas Chinese students were there?

Hauru: There were many in my department, Asia Pacific Industrial and Business Management. One third were overseas Chinese, two thirds were from Taiwan. Overseas Chinese gathered from all around the world, including Canada, and South Africa. There was no international student other than overseas Chinese.

—————It sounds very international even just with overseas Chinese.

Hauru: Exactly. There was a variety across languages and cultural backgrounds. We all were overseas Chinese, though I found everyone was very different from one another.

—————Did you study Chinese language before you moved to Taiwan?

Hauru: Hardly. When I look back, I wonder why I didn’t study. At home, my parents would talk to each other in Chinese, though we children spoke only in Japanese.

In the university, they had Chinese language courses for international students, but I didn’t know they existed before I started and ended up not taking it. Fortunately, textbooks used in university were in English. If they were in Chinese, I would not have been able to graduate.

—————Did other Overseas Chinese students spoke Chinese?

Hauru: They all did. Even students from Canada or South Africa, they were fluent in Chinese. My mother says, “I should have made you speak more in Chinese at home.” When I look back now, I wonder if I missed out.

—————Did you have any expectation or concern before you relocated to Taiwan?

Hauru: I am pretty much an optimistic type, so every time before I move, I am filled with hope and expectations, like “I will be making new friends” or “I am going to be fluent in Chinese”.

After moving, all I felt was anxiety

—————What did you actually feel when you moved to Taiwan?

Hauru: All I felt was just anxiety. Having left my home for the first time, not knowing the language, I was overwhelmed and not sure if I could make it through. 

Plus, I found out that the university was in a remote suburb, and the premises were not even finished. They didn’t have piped water, and there were piles of dirt around. I thought “How dare they recruit students under such conditions.”

“This must be the end my life,” that is what I was feeling honestly. I found many things difficult in the first 6 months and ended up taking only the minimum of required classes; I immured myself in the dorm the rest of a day.

—————What helped you to stop immuring yourself?

Hauru: I got a boyfriend [laughs]. I met him during a class, he was Taiwanese. My Chinese started to improve by the second. In the last half of my time studying there, I was able to speak almost like the locals. Though I couldn’t understand Taiwanese language.

Chinese is Mandarin, which is called Pekingese as well. Taiwan has its own language: Taiwanese. My father’s ancestors were originally from Taiwan, they spoke Taiwanese. My mother’s were from main land China, they moved to Taiwan as political refugees as a result of Chinese Civil War.

In Taiwan, they teach in Mandarin and students would get scolded if they were caught speaking Taiwanese in schools. I heard someone my age was scolded once. I assume they don’t do that anymore though.

—————How was the student life in Kaohsiung after that?

Hauru: I was always struggling to keep up with my studies. Even if a test was easy, I was instantly behind because of the language, always felt I had to study harder than others. On weekends, my cousin would help me study. In Taiwan, they don’t really go for drinking or partying while in university. They all study.

Back to Japan, then to New York

—————How did you make your plans after graduation?

Hauru: I thought about getting a job in Taiwan, though most companies required Chinese as a first language. At the end, I decided to go back to Japan. Many of my friends from university went to graduate school, some of my male friends went to do military service.

After I came back to Japan, I worked for a few company. Then I got married and my husband got a job in New York. I quit my job and we decided to go together.

————— Moving to New York, was it a hard decision to make?

Hauru: No. It was the moment that I wanted a change. 

Though I was fortunate to have great coworkers, I was very busy and having a hard time with my health. Plus I had always wanted to go to America. So I felt like I could wish for nothing better.

This time again, all I had were high expectations, thinking “I like the idea of going to America” or “I will be fluent in English”. Though after I got there, again I thought “I have no idea what people say”, or “What am I going to do”?.

The job her mother led her to

—————How was your English before you moved to America?

Hauru: I could read and write a little, but could not speak it at all. In New York, people talk fast and I had no clue what they were saying. I found it hard and once again I immured myself. When my husband went to work, I stayed inside the apartment all the time.

—————What helped you to get out of being immured this time?

Hauru: I started to go to language school, Monday through Friday, for 5 months. After a while I started to work as a receptionist at a dentist in the city.

Actually my mother helped me find the job. When she visited us in New York, she went to a clinic where a Taiwanese doctor works. Then they hit it off; my mother frankly asked the doctor if there was any job opportunity for me. The doctor kindly introduced me to a dentist friend.

The dentist was also Taiwanese and there was a Japanese assistant. About half of the patients were Japanese; the other half spoke Chinese, so it was perfect for me. I also needed to make phone calls in English, which was challenging. Thanks to that,  my English improved I guess.

————— How long did you work at the dentist?

Hauru: For about 2 years. I wanted to work at a company and considered changing jobs.

Then my father, who lived in Taiwan at that time, had serious health issues. He had been fighting with liver cancer for a long time and the situation changed all of a sudden. 

I quit the dentist to go to Taiwan, half expecting that I would see him go. Though he passed away while I was preparing to go back; I couldn’t make it in time. After that I stayed in Taiwan and Japan for 2 months, taking care of his funeral with my mother.

Then I went back to New York and started to look for a job, while working at the dentist. They readily accepted the condition that I work there till I find a new job. They supported me a lot.

—————What was the next workplace like?

Hauru: It was a Japanese company I found through a Japanese agent, which is a trading company for fashion materials.

The office was small with just 3 workers, including me. The manager was half Italian and half Japanese, another staff member was a Korean woman raised in Japan, and I am a Taiwanese from Japan. Everyone was from Japan, though there was this diversity. It felt very New York-ish. The atmosphere was very welcoming; we were like a family. I worked there for 2 years and 5 months.

————— You worked for the same company after you came back to Tokyo.

Hauru: Right. Though it felt very different, even with the same company. In New York, there was this challenge and spirit to pursue something better. Whereas in Japan, the company had this culture that things would sell to their existent clients without much effort. It wasn’t challenging enough and I couldn’t adjust. Even when I suggested something to make a change, it wasn’t easy to make it happen.

Then I left that job and started to work at my current company, which is an online research firm where I worked before going to America. I was a bit worried if I could keep up with the speed of work though, from my former experience. As ever, I have been fortunate with the help of my colleagues.

Never called myself “Japanese”

—————What were the benefits of living in Taiwan and America?

Hauru: By living in Taiwan, for the very first time I think I was able to accept my roots . I have become interested in topics such as China-Taiwan relationship, only because I lived in Taiwan. 

Another thing is that, I was born and raised in Japan but have never called myself “Japanese”. I am aware that I am a Taiwanese who was born in Japan. Though in New York, no one really cared about those kinds of things. There are a variety of people with different backgrounds. I felt very at ease. 

New York felt like a small version of the whole world, everyone has a different cultural perspective. My capacity to understand different cultures may have expanded. That may be the biggest gaining.

—————What was the biggest challenge in Taiwan and New York?

Hauru: The languages. Not being able to convey what I wanted to convey, it felt like I was a baby.

In Taiwan, I have my relatives and people there are Japan-friendly. I took 6 months to enjoy it. But in the States I didn’t know anybody. I felt that if you didn’t speak English, you could be looked down on. I found that hard. In America it took 3 years to feel comfortable.

In both places, I would struggle to get used to my life there and could not afford to truly enjoy much. My husband can enjoy challenges and all, though I tend to plunge myself in those situations. Even if things felt brand-new in the beginning, I would feel so tired and wonder how long my life there could continue.

Missing candid relationship with people

—————Is there anything you miss from Taiwan and New York?

Hauru: Candid relationship with people, I would say. Both in Taiwan and New York, people are very open and candid in a good way. 

For example, if there was an old passenger in a train, people would offer their seats saying, “Hey, come take a seat here!” In Japan, there is a certain sense of distance, right? If the person appears to be 60 years old, I would think “Would it be impolite if I offered a seat to this person?” That is considerate, but it could feel too much work. I feel it is okay if things were simpler here.

That may be my own challenge, though. I want to communicate in a simple manner, but tend to think: “I wonder how close I can get with this person?” With the fact that I have thoughts like this, I truly feel that I was brought up in Japan.

—————Would you consider relocating again?

Hauru: Yeah, but not proactively right now. I am comfortable where we are and would like to settle down, which is a feeling I never had before.

Up until now, I never really lived in a city with a long-term outlook. For example, I could not imagine living in New York permanently. Now in Tokyo, we bought a house and furniture that we can use for a long time, for the first time. 

Now I want to connect with the culture and people here. If I ever get another chance to move, that’s good. If I don’t, that’s good too. I want to enjoy my life here and now.